Sparda Sisters
by Birds of North Pole
Summary: Dante and Vergil were changed into women overnight, Mundus disappeared off the face of the Earth and... Limbo fears the feminine side of Dante...? Plot bunny. Rated M just for safety. Loosely based rewrite for the second part of the DmC 5 game.


Disclaimer: I do not own Devil May Cry.

Author's Notes: Alright! Second try at this shit! [inhales deeply]

I really don't know why I'm doing this. But the thought just keeps popping up in front of all other thoughts: write this fic, write this fic...

It's for my peace (piece?) of mind too so I don't snap at people when Monday comes from lack of sleep up all night thinking about it.

So Dante and Vergil had escaped Mudus's batman 'you-don't-fuck-with-a-god' beam of death with suicidal (homicidal to the terrorist level in peacetime) Nascar driving techniques. Then the overlord goes missing, and the nephilims found themselves turned into women.

Some OOC-ness involved, but I blame it on Dante and Vergil's new gender and sudden hormone change.

I hate to that Vergil became Dante's biggest boss again. Whyyy does he always have to turn to the dark side... ? %^%

Enjoy.

_Italic paragraphs are flashbacks._

* * *

Kat's bra size were B-34, but they were pretty tight on his chest. So his measure must be something close to that.

Dante looked at the numbers drawn on his lightly tanned forearm and scowled at the smiling faces on strange shaped underwear beside him. Woman can take a helluva more humiliation and endure discomfort longer than he ever could. He was rather impressed by the strippers in Lilith's club now; able to dance in heels so tall they were practically walking on the tip of their toes and not stumble once.

Right now Dante was in a run-down ma and pa women's boutique (there were two of them on the same street, neighboring each other: one is an authentic boutique opened by an actual French that sold some pricy but fashionable clothing and one is a second hand junk store pretending to be a boutique; Dante is in the latter) for some pretty good, if strange, and not perverted at all reasons.

Why?

He's now officially a member of the female community.

Day one of his fucked-up life without a double-digit dick.

_He looked at a color changing Vergil—one can school their features, but the color of their face already betrayed them—an absolutely beautiful, natural (okay, the method they were obtained was unnatural, but they were still natural breasts) D-cups almost bursting the seams of his normally loose fitting pajamas, nothing stirring below. Vergil had, Dante could swear, slimmed down significantly from a fit man to a delicate looking woman at night. His hair grew at least several inches and now stopped at the top of his pronounced busts. His hips were little wider and back curvier, chin more pointed and features more feminine. Vergil's beautiful, not **attractive**._

_Dante eve made the point to reach for his junk, but there was nothing there._

_N-O-T-H-I-N-G. Not a fucking thing._

"Ma'am?" Someone apparently had snuck up behind him and he jumped in surprise. But he restrained the blow that he was going to deliver to the poor woman's solar plexus out of instinct. Wouldn't do to have someone killed on a supply run. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I scare you?"

"Damn right you did, old bitch." Dante muttered under his breath grudgingly. It felt rather normal without his most precious organ—other than his heart, that is—which had startled Dante to no end because he was a man, goddamn it, he was carrying around that appendage longer than he had been without it. He have to be _disturbed_; sure, he can be resigned to his fate, but to resign you have to be _terrified_ first, which Dante's brain had to yet digest.

Either the woman heard the rude complain and ignored it, or she had really bad hearing, because she smiled and continued her ramble.

"What would you like? A birthday surprise for your boyfriend?" She winked, "girls like you are too embarrassed to say it out loud, but don't worry, I can read that thought off of your face."

What? Shit no. He is straight as a flag pole, end of discussion.

You do have some horrible people reading skills, lady. No wonder this place is a run-down shit hole.

"Uh, no." I'm looking for bras for my brother because he's now a D-cupped woman without any clothes from me or another girl that would actually fit his busty chest, if you would so helpfully look for bras like that instead of bothering me would really be appreciated.

Oh, by the way, if you are wondering, we are nephilims, so we fucking change into women. No kidding.

_Vergil took the situation with so much Zen that Dante can't even imagine. First analyzing it, okay, he was turned female, the transformation was overnight, he didn't feel a thing. Either there was sedatives involved, which was near impossible because he set alarms and himself was a very light sleeper, or that it included spells of some kind. Which is a little childish. Maybe it's something that had to do with their odd heritage._

_He then__ viewed all his choices that are logical, that leaves only one._

_It have something to do with nephilim blood._

_After that it was trying to find a cure for this nephilim transformation, apparently even Vergil's vast knowledgeable variety of old, dusty Latin books didn't have anything like it recorded. So__ that went well._

_Phineas the demon would be very helpful right about now._

"No?" She looked genuinely surprised by the answer before that cosmetic-level fake Mother Teresa smile was plastered back on to her face. "Well, how else can I help you then?"

He wanted to tell the woman to fuck off, but he really don't know how to measure woman's cup size and he might buy something too big for him and too small for Vergil's, you know. Kat's out of commission, humans need some recovery time despite her constant protests that she was fine. She's been tortured after all, and it's not called 'torture' for nothing. So before she could argue him out of his not-sensible logic he barged out of the door. So now his only viable choice was to work with an actual human female.

It's all fun and games.

"Do you have any bras that fit for, uh." Dante cupped his hands out at the air in front of his chest around where Vergil's breasts probably have been. "That, sized, like, D-something...?"

Embarrassing...

Dante thought the woman didn't get it until her mouth went 'o' in understanding with some probably sick explanation that was perfectly fine in woman sense. Dante really can't imagine it, and he really don't want to right now. All he wanted to do was to get the hell out of this horrifying store.

He'll take his chances with a cussing, sobbing, mood-swinging Limbo any day over this shit. Vergil, whenever getting some fitting clothes, is doing this next time.

In fact, he doesn't even want a next time.

"That's a lot of plastic." Dante caught the phrase she mumbled under her breath as Fake Teresa turned signaled him to follow her.

How right he was.

She dodged through crowded rows of female under garments and occasionally sighted through the isles like an animal walking in its natural environment. Which was a simile that Dante found very disturbing.

"Alright, here's the D-cup section." She pointed at a rack with three layers full of colorful bras were knotted into one big pile.

He really didn't want to pick through the haphazardly tangled wears and see which one would fit Vergil, seriously, that's just weird and totally perverted since he's still a man. At heart.

So Dante closed his eyes and picked up one sitting on the top of all the other intricately tied together ones.

He opened one of his eye to stuy it; the size looked big enough, but the top half of the bra was all transparent light blue lace—Vergil's color, funny enough—while the bottom half was a solid white.

Dante was suddenly torn between buying this for Vergil and setting it down to pick another more decently unexposed one.

So he looked warily back at the big pile of knotted undergarments. He should have no problems at all—he's picked up plenty of them in his life, including untangling his twin guns from a pink one dangling on a loose Ferris wheel— but some thing close to repulsiveness radiated from that pile whenever he braved himself to untangle another pair of bra. What's wrong with him, or the pile?

Dante can't figure it out, so he reached for the mess again and Dante could _swear_ that the whole pile _twitched_ like a mutated alien from some porno sci-fi movie. He quickly retracted his hand in horror.

Nope, Vergil, you just have to deal with it then. Dante threw the dangerously indecent piece of clothing in his shopping cart with a sigh.

He also wandered the woman's clothes section to pick up a black coat embedded with sliver vines, which was on the list of thing he needed to buy for his brother written by Vergil himself in mechanical cursive, few loose shirts in some random, not neon cool colors, purple and blue pinstriped pants—he's seen his brother wear those, and they probably don't fit him anymore—and a pair of woman's boots for his brother.

The men's shoes did not fit them anymore by a startling amount of space, and Dante didn't see himself doing combos with his shoes slipping off every other step. Vergil would probably think the same thing. Dante also does not see his fashionable brother in running shoes, so he bought a pair of jet-black leather boots that reached the ankle.

He had better luck buying himself two pairs of bando styled bra that's in gray and red— really he just picked that that pack of two up because on the label it said B thirty something and he can't keep wearing Kat's spare one because he's certain this is temporary and his male genitals would grow back eventually— some more not neon colored tank tops and earth brown combat boots. He's keeping his own coat and pants, there's nothing wrong with them, the pants fit, and so did the coat.

In the end, he spent three dollars on the humiliating blue bra, nine for the pants, fifteen for the boots, sixty some dollars for Vergil's fucking coat, and half that much for all the articles of clothing himself. Damn, that guy's _not_ cheap, not at all.

He paid cash to the man at the register, who suddenly hid his porn —and his boner, which made Dante's nothingness down there ache for something—at the sight of customer incoming. Dante stuffed all the barely folded things in two paper bags before leaving. The door was not automatic and with his hands both occupied, Dante might have made some cracks on the glass of the door with his kick.

Ah, well, nobody stopped him from leaving.

Limbo was way better than this, at least he could fight his way out of that hell.

* * *

Speak of the Devil, and he would follow your ass until the end of the days.

Someone definitely planted that demon spotter on his route home.

Dante swore to exact vengeance on whoever did it. The '_Welcome MISS DANTE_' that Limbo shoved right in front of his face was simply heart _warming._

Now Dante just swore.

Holding his two shopping bags in one hand, he summoned his trusty sword Rebellion in the other hand and hacked away at the constantly spawning demons. He made sure that the clothes didn't get stained with the raining black goo as he performed a Prop attack followed by Raze with Osiris before switching back to Rebellion.

In the middle of a one handed Trillion Blade attack he was knocked back by a warm shockwave. Catching himself at the last moment and snatching Vergil's now flying woman's coat out of the air with his demon Ophion pull.

Like he had said, that thing was also worth more than his monthly spending on groceries and ammo combined, and that's saying something.

He growled as another bomb whistled by his ear and quickly jumped away, using the Angel Glide to gain more distance as the bomb exploded behind him, luckily also destroying the three ugly Stygians with it. Dante heard a cry that sounded very much frustrated and smirked victoriously; demons like the Shielded Bathos are just annoying at best. He used the Demon Pull to throw away that small shield of its before peppering it with bullets from Ivory only, because his other hand's too busy holding the two shopping bags and keeping them away from the constantly spurted demon blood.

He should call himself a professional multi-tasker now, juggling demon killing and shopping.

Dante was pretty smug until a Tyrant and Ravagers made themselves known with their signature chain-saw whirr and heavy pounding foot steps. Great, the unstoppable crowd is a pain in the ass. Dante hated this combination of demons, you can't beat them without the full use of both hands, feet and brain.

The last part got to him way more than the first two did.

He dodged into an alley and felt something squelchy was crushed under his foot with a loud '_splat_'; he looked down, it was a rat sized Critter that had it's guts spurted over the alleyway. The dim eerie lighting coming from the above wasn't helping the situation either. What's worse, the black demonic bug juice also soaked onto Kat's shoes that he had burrowed and also splattered over his jeans' legs. Now the faintest of the smirk was replaced completely by a troubled frown; he would feel pretty bad just returning Kat's shoes like this, even if demon goo was easy on the clothes—which Dante was forever grateful for, it's pretty hard to explain that you kill demons for a living to the dry cleaning store owner every day of the week, or the Goodwill store.

It doesn't help when Limbo, once again, flashed bright letters to the left of him that said '_What's wrong?_' with sarcasm so thick that Dante could smell it in the air even if the city was just a bunch of bricks and metal that short of warped into demonic bricks and metal.

He should change his clothes before he get back to Vergil and stop at the dry cleaning again. Dante kicked himself mentally for not buying that extra pair of jeans in the junk store ran by Fake Teresa and Porn Jacker. So what the hell, might as well as change here, its as good as a public bathroom and better, because Dante really didn't want to go into the girl's bathroom.

It's embarrassing, weird, and pride damaging.

"Hey Limbo, don't look." Dante didn't wait for the graffiti styled reply from the city before setting down the paper bags at somewhere relatively clean and took off his coat.

'_What the Hell?'_ the letters on the ground dissipated as soon as it came. '_Dante, stop it!'_

Huh, curioser and curioser. Dante felt like it was time to exact some revenge against the city that worked against him on everything...

"Make me." Dante laughed evilly as he pulled up his light grey tank top with the coat draped over one arm. His new found breasts might have juggled a little when the skin tight top was pulled off. But hey, it's better than Vergil's D's, which was extremely animated and exaggerated his slightest movements.

Dante wondered idly if Limbo had a gender... Hmm, can a city spawn more little cities? Little Limbos?

'A_rgh!' _Limbo exclaimed before Dante found the alleyway darken and eyes peeked out from every shadow.

He took a step back at the hungry glint in the glittering eyes before he realized that he could no longer hear the approaching saw, because demons don't go 'poof' until Dante killed them, and they sure as heck don't want to do that job themselves.

So, conclusion: he's back in the real world. Limbo the bitch spit him out or something like it. Dante had found a new, quicker way to get out of chaos, but it did severely wound his male(/female) pride. Dante wondered if the bouncing-like-Jell-O tendency of female breasts did it for Limbo, so he glared at his new-found breasts. He looked gorgeous, really, and he think he's hot himself. Dante could almost hear Vergil tsk-ing at him—really, he think Vergil is probably the only person in real life who makes that old archaic sound in disappointment, just how old is he?— and saying 'hubris, brother', but hey, he really _is _hot, Vergil's just jealous.

"My boobs don't look that bad do they?" Dante asked the homeless, who were staring at him with lust in their eyes like this was once in a lifetime eye candy. They shook their heads with their eyes still locked onto the twins.

See, even the homeless says 'no'.

Dante thinks that his standards might have been going down since he met that first fucker who had a face equipped with a pussy in Limbo. What was his name? Henry? Hun? Dante was lost in thought as he picked up the now battered shopping bags. But a black stain caught his eye (a large splotch, really, Dante's too proud to admit his obviousness to unusual colors. The problem had made itself known after fight Bob Barbas). So he lifted Vergil's slightly ruffled coat out of the paper bag to inspect closely under the light, or the lack of any.

He cursed again, more severely than the last time; because there was demon blood soaked through the coat despite him taking a great amount of care not to spill anything on it.

Damn Limbo.

* * *

Reviews and favorites appreciated/loved! Yep, only been in America for three years, learned English from scratch (horrible grammar).


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